August 31, 1982

8:00 P.M.

I feel so badly that I really have nothing really good to say again except that I get happier everyday because I’m going home soon. After all this time and the first two weeks when I was miserable and these past two weeks have picked up. I just hope I still get letters. It’s too bad only Melissa and Maria wrote to me. That’s disappointing. Anyway though I can’t wait to be at school again. This year will be my last to act like a kid. The feelings I’ve had lately about my father are those of feeling really sorry for him to have to put up with me. I also feel sorry for Kevin and my grandfather. I really think women are stronger than men. I’m now going to say something that I mean sincerely but will sound ridiculous and crazy. I want to be as good as the Bishop of Digne in Les Miserables. I also should read about Jesus and study him and learn about his good ways because I want to pick up on them. Also, I haven’t lost any weight. I continue to eat like a pig and I don’t care although I don’t want to hear it from my mother. People say I’m a beautiful girl and I really don’t know what to believe. Well, I guess I’ve had a lot on my mind with this mish mash of a passage today.