August 17, 1982
7:45 P.M.
The time spent here is really going fast and I’m glad! Today I went to Viejo San Juan and spent $60.00 on three wall hangings, 5 bottles of rum and a pair of earrings. I brought this book with me, figuring I could find a quiet little spot by the water, but I shopped too long. I walked up and down the tiny streets all by myself. One man in one of the stores asked me for a date. I don’t know what number that is but I’ve turned all down. It’s been a week since I had that encounter with the man at El San Juan. I stay home nights now. I asked father for some spending money but I’m getting nothing from him. I really should go home now but I was thinking later on that maybe I will stay just until the fourth of September. That way I can go home with darker skin. That’s really not that important but I lay in the sweltering heat anyway. Father asked me why I find it so difficult to talk to him. Ah, there is nothing here for me, just the sun and water. That is nice but it really isn’t my bag. I would rather be with my friends although I am a loner. By myself, I lay in the sun and read, come home, take a shower, eat, write, watch the tube and crash, wake up and start the routine again. That is my life here. I don’t understand it. It is filled with no purpose. It is sort of life married life in the fifties or sometime when wives do as their husbands tell them. Father orders me to do everything for him – things that he can do for himself. I figure it is my payment for being here. Oh – this is all shit now. I just have a headache now, my third since I’ve been here. I’m also watching the Solitary Man on TV. I wrote five postcards today and I cleaned my rooms plus cleaned up after dinner like I was told. I am going to get a bowl of cereal for my headache and all I had left to do was write in here. Like I say about all my books – you are my only true companion.
The time spent here is really going fast and I’m glad! Today I went to Viejo San Juan and spent $60.00 on three wall hangings, 5 bottles of rum and a pair of earrings. I brought this book with me, figuring I could find a quiet little spot by the water, but I shopped too long. I walked up and down the tiny streets all by myself. One man in one of the stores asked me for a date. I don’t know what number that is but I’ve turned all down. It’s been a week since I had that encounter with the man at El San Juan. I stay home nights now. I asked father for some spending money but I’m getting nothing from him. I really should go home now but I was thinking later on that maybe I will stay just until the fourth of September. That way I can go home with darker skin. That’s really not that important but I lay in the sweltering heat anyway. Father asked me why I find it so difficult to talk to him. Ah, there is nothing here for me, just the sun and water. That is nice but it really isn’t my bag. I would rather be with my friends although I am a loner. By myself, I lay in the sun and read, come home, take a shower, eat, write, watch the tube and crash, wake up and start the routine again. That is my life here. I don’t understand it. It is filled with no purpose. It is sort of life married life in the fifties or sometime when wives do as their husbands tell them. Father orders me to do everything for him – things that he can do for himself. I figure it is my payment for being here. Oh – this is all shit now. I just have a headache now, my third since I’ve been here. I’m also watching the Solitary Man on TV. I wrote five postcards today and I cleaned my rooms plus cleaned up after dinner like I was told. I am going to get a bowl of cereal for my headache and all I had left to do was write in here. Like I say about all my books – you are my only true companion.
posted by Grand Inquisitor at 4:42 AM
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