August 15, 1982
9:00 P.M.
Today wasn’t so terrific either. I want to start tomorrow on the right foot. It seems father is constantly angry with me. I am really going crazy but I’m glad I’m alone, otherwise it would be very unpleasant for my companion and I would have to be extra nice to my father. I am acting so reticent around him. It’s really something to be like that. Tonight we went to visit friends of his. They are really nice. I felt extremely ill there and almost vomited but I took myself into the bathroom and tried to control my sick feelings. I tried to get in touch with my mother but she wasn’t home as I suspected she wouldn’t be. I miss her and I love her. I can’t wait to be home again.
10:30 P.M.
I just spoke to my mother. I feel so much better. I didn’t cry like I thought I would but who cares anyway. Our conversation wasn’t that long. I was disappointed that she didn’t get my postcard. That means Maria didn’t get hers nor Mrs. Chasan her card. I do hope they get them soon. My mother sounded pretty well. I told her about the tape I listened to and surprisingly she said that maybe she’d get to hear it someday. Oh, I forgot about this disappointment I had. I asked my father if he had a copy of The Prophet. He told me that he didn’t. Today we went to visit a friend’s son who had an appendicitis operation and he gave him the book. I wanted it really badly. Oh well, one thing about being here is that I’m going to come home not spoiled. I am hating my life here. It is confusing me. I dislike Arturo and cannot see my mother being in love with him. If it was all a mistake, then I am a mistake. I love my mother but I don’t even like my father. I feel he is being hostile to me but I don’t care. I am not enjoying it but I feel sorry for him. I want to go home. There is no happiness here. God please help me and all of us. Thank you for giving me a mother that loves me. I will never ever forget her. Good night.
Today wasn’t so terrific either. I want to start tomorrow on the right foot. It seems father is constantly angry with me. I am really going crazy but I’m glad I’m alone, otherwise it would be very unpleasant for my companion and I would have to be extra nice to my father. I am acting so reticent around him. It’s really something to be like that. Tonight we went to visit friends of his. They are really nice. I felt extremely ill there and almost vomited but I took myself into the bathroom and tried to control my sick feelings. I tried to get in touch with my mother but she wasn’t home as I suspected she wouldn’t be. I miss her and I love her. I can’t wait to be home again.
10:30 P.M.
I just spoke to my mother. I feel so much better. I didn’t cry like I thought I would but who cares anyway. Our conversation wasn’t that long. I was disappointed that she didn’t get my postcard. That means Maria didn’t get hers nor Mrs. Chasan her card. I do hope they get them soon. My mother sounded pretty well. I told her about the tape I listened to and surprisingly she said that maybe she’d get to hear it someday. Oh, I forgot about this disappointment I had. I asked my father if he had a copy of The Prophet. He told me that he didn’t. Today we went to visit a friend’s son who had an appendicitis operation and he gave him the book. I wanted it really badly. Oh well, one thing about being here is that I’m going to come home not spoiled. I am hating my life here. It is confusing me. I dislike Arturo and cannot see my mother being in love with him. If it was all a mistake, then I am a mistake. I love my mother but I don’t even like my father. I feel he is being hostile to me but I don’t care. I am not enjoying it but I feel sorry for him. I want to go home. There is no happiness here. God please help me and all of us. Thank you for giving me a mother that loves me. I will never ever forget her. Good night.
posted by Grand Inquisitor at 4:50 AM
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