May 8, 1981

1:00 A.M.

Last night I did the rove (spot light) at rehearsal for the spring concert. We had fun. Ray picked Ellen and I up in a tuxedo with Tom's 450 SL (Merceds). He wanted to embarass Ellen. (He is going to the prom tonight at the Chanticler. At 1:00, until 5:00, there is another dance at his school). Anyway, we went driving around for about 15 mintues. We got pulled over by the cops by Pingry. (Ironically, the school where we took driver's ed.). Ray didn't have his license. The whole thing we thought was funny. We told Barbara and Thomas.

Ellen, Thomas and I slept in Thomas' room last night. I slept in the middle, on the floor, on the mattress from upstairs. The window was open. It was cold out. I couldn't get to sleep. I slept until 10 to 8 this morning. I never woke up all day. I had very, very painful cramps. I couldn't believe it because I don't often get cramps, especially on the second day of my period. I was sick but chose to eat and took a diet pill, and my cramps went away.

We're dissecting in Biology, and today I removed an eye from my fetal pig. Everybody said I was gross, even Ellen.

Susan, Margaret, mom, and I went to WTC tonight to see "Daughters." It was excellent! I cried a little and held on to my mother's hand the whole time. It was about a woman, Tessie (with sister Patty Ann, her mom, grandma, and daughter Cetta). Cetta is 17, and planning a wedding. Patty Ann is younger than Tessie, and married with 3 kids, a beautiful house in Long Island. Their father is very ill, and Tessie goes crazy and goes to a mental hospital (She comes back later), when she finds out her husband is having an affair. Patty Ann's husband is also having an affair. Cetta later want to cancel her wedding. Tessie had Cetta when she was 15, got pregnant and had to marry Vito. Tessie adores her Pop. There are no men in this play. Grandma has no lines, is like Nanny in Gamma Rays, but dies.

Tonight my mom and I had a horrible vicious fight. We went on and on. Maybe things were accomplished and maybe not, but I know through my ability to observe myself, that what Ellen and Barbara see in me is pretty shitty. That's depressing, so I've got to change.

Tonight I baked 30 cupcakes for the fair. I must take a shower and wash my hair, exercise, do lots of homework, pack for Ellen's house for 4 days, remember money, a banana for Ellen, Ms. Geier's folder. I'm watching a Lucille Ball/Bob Hope movie now.

(Written later: I remember falling asleep at this movie the night I wrote this).

History class:

Oh shut up Mr. Viall. Geesh!

Italy entered the war because they wanted more territory "for selfish reason" - Tom V.

5 minutes later...

I tried to take notes but he quickly lost me, or I lost him. Today the seating order is:

(Author's note: Drawing and painting that backdrop was a lot of work for me. Not only was it simply hard work, but I was also severly depressed at the time. When you are akreadt depleted of your regular amount of energy to just live, you certainly don't have extra energy to do anything else so doing that backdrop was a lot of extra work for me. What sucks most of all about it, is that come Spring Concert time, Miss Prudon did not even think to put my name in the brochure and give me credit for doing the backdrop. That was a real smack in the face. Like many of my teachers, I think she did not like me).