May 30, 1981

11:15 P.M.

Well what to talk about? Today I spent in the park, sleeping on a towel from 10:30 to 4:00. I got a burn. A bad one. I bought milk and cookies which I'm sorry I did. I never studied but I might tonight. I'm watching Love Story at 1:40. I can't wait. It's supposed to be really good. Tomorrow I'm gonna do henna on my hair in the morning and go outside with it clean and wet at 9:00. I'll come home at about 2:00, shower, get dressed, take books to the library.

(Author's note: At this time in my life, a fragile 16-year-old, I thought that changing one's appearance was synonymous with changing one's life. I was determined that that summer I would starve to be thin, lighten my hair to be blond, and darken my skin to be tan. It was my goal to come back to school in September thin, tanned and blond. Plus, since I was so lonely living in a neighborhood far away from my friends (as kids in private school tend to not be neighborhood kids), I was often isolated. This park across the street from my house became my refuge and my only form of recreation and distraction. I actually thought it was the magic park, the park where I would lay all day on a towel to get tanned, thereby changing my life at the same time).