March 28, 1981

I copied this English homework from Ellen. Right now we're sitting in the living room watching A Streetcar Named Desire. I'm spending the night again at Ellen's house. Mrs. Hoffman and Barbara are here too sitting on the couch. Vivien Leigh won an Oscar for this movie (Elia Kazan - 1951).

(Author's note: Ellen was my best friend during this very painful time in my life and I practically moved into her house because I couldn't stand being in my own house with my mother's soon-to-be husband. It turned out that that year, sophomore year, would be the last that we would be friends. We grew apart the following year for reasons that had to do with what she was going through in her own life, as well as what was going on in mine. But for many years I held this against her and thought she was a bad friend to me and I stopped speaking to her altogether. I did rekindle a relationship with her in 2004 and we have been good friends since, and I have learned something very valuable by getting back in touch with her: that things are not always what you think they are. I realized I was wrong to harbor so much anger at Ellen. I took it personally that we grew apart and it took me years to realize that I was actually quite narcissistic about the whole thing myself and that it wasn't her fault, but mine too. But it took me 23 years to learn this lesson. I treasure this lesson. Although painful, it taught me a lot about myself - who I was then, as well as who I am today. I will write much more about this relationship over time).