March 2, 1982

Oh, boy, forget this history class. I'll have to study some other time about eh above. I've never done this before. I wonder if Mr. Amberose know what I'm doing. I'm sorry about this, but I'm so tired! Last monday I blacked out 3 times! God, what was wrong with me? This book, I shall keep but is is so boring! Now it's got something good in it. My own writing. Not that this is any good, but when I look through wanting to read something dealing with me, this book will have but one page. That's all I'll allow myself. I have taken such good notes this year, on the whole. I'm in so much trouble. I wish I could cry! But I can't. I'm beyond something. I don't know. Miss Geier hates my guts. She says I have a lousy typewriter. The program is not done yet. I have got to learn to uncomplicate my life. I think I have problems. I'm in so much trouible! My mother thinks there is something wrong with me. Maybe there is. I'm failing math and science. I dread going home. I don't want to get upset. She might make me cry again. I can't take that. I wish I were dead. Oh I do, I do! Please help me get throught this hard time. I don't want to mess up. I have good feelings towards the Spring.